Every now and then I catch him looking at things though, so is he seeing more or just the outline of what he's fixed on? I guess we won't know until he can tell us, but when he seems to be looking at me, my heart jumps inside and I don't want that moment to end. I want him to see me, and all my imperfections. I want him to see his daddy and Theron and his family. I want so badly for him to see his nurses and doctors that have fallen in love with him and helped make him better.
Dr. Hunt told me miracles do happen, he's seen them, but right now, medically, Lukas won't have normal vision. Just light, dark and maybe shapes.
That's so hard to hear, I cried a little on the way home, but I am too tired and emotionally drained that my tear factory has gone out of business. But, I guess vision loss is much better than baby loss.
I mean, we just put him through major brain surgery for the chance for his optic nerves to regenerate and get some vision back, is this it? Seriously? This?
I guess I'm just selfish, but I want Lukas to see all the good that this world has to show.
So we should start 3 more days of chemo tomorrow and work on getting rid of the rest of the cancer. I can't even type that word without cringing... ugh...
2 comments:
Im so sad to hear all of that. I know how you must feel, and no you arent selfish! I love that boy, and his brother, give them big kisses for me, and ill see yall soon!!!
I am so sorry to hear that. I know that is hard. And you are not selfish at all you are being a mother, he is you baby and you want the very best for him. Your little one is such a trooper and so sweet. See ya Sunday! oh and be prepared to hear the best talk ever ;) probabyly not the best, but I will do my best.
Post a Comment