Monday, May 26, 2008

Long Nights

Sometimes they are nice. I feel like I get some down time, other long nights though, those wonderful old thoughts creep in. The little girl that did radiation with Lukas was done with her treatment in February. She just had emergency surgery Friday because of bleeding on her brain. The culprit? A new NB tumor in her brain. Why does this have to happen? When will it all end? I'll forever be left to wonder what is going on in Lukas little body. Will something new show up on scans? Will he be in full remission forever? What happens if it does come back? Right now it's pretty much a death sentence for NB to come back.

I just don't understand it. I know Lukas chances of full remission are so high, but there is always the possibility for it to come back, no matter how slim it might be for him.

We have to do something about this. We have to let people know babies are DYING more than they are living because of Neuroblastoma! People need to know it's happening. We've got to get more funding for this stupid, hateful, deadly cancer that is killing our babies and toddlers! I'm sorry for all of these sad posts, but this is a reality. This is the world my family lives in now. It's uncertain and full of worry and what-if's. That is what my long nights are made of.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Peepee on the potty!!!

Ok, so I've wanted to post this for a couple days now but I didn't want to jinx anything.....


For the most part. I leave the light on and leave his stool next to the toilet and he goes in there and does his business when he needs to. He doesn't like for me to help. "I do it myself mom." That's what he says... Now we just need to learn how to put the undies back on the right way. Most of the time they end up on backwards and inside out, but I'm not complaining!

Mamaw brought over 12 new pairs of undies for Theron the other night and he's having a blast being a big boy so he can wear them! Thanks Mamaw!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mother's Day!!

I get this forwarded to me all the time in my email, but it's how I feel, especially now. Enjoy.

So hit 5 pretty moms on your friends list to let them know they are pretty!

Before I was a Mom -

I never thought about immunizations.
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom -

I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests, or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom -

I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down!
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom -

I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom -

I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Petition for Childhood Cancer

Please visit the link, read the story and sign the petition! (Yes, I have already signed, given my two cents and then Lukas story.)

Enough said!