Waiting is one of my least favorite games. Add waiting, then hearing not so good news and then top it off with making decisions based on the not so good news, and there you have it. My absolute, most hated game of all. It's called the "Lukas has cancer and it's not responding to his treatments and isn't doing what it's supposed to" game. Yep, pretty much 100% positive I hate that game.
So Lukas MRI and VEP (visual evoke potential-goggle test) preliminarily showed no change or possibly the tumor is a tiny bit bigger and no response (respectively). 4 rounds of chemo and 13 rounds of radiation later and there isn't much change in the head tumor.
The even more frustrating thing is that we don't know why it's not responding, we've tried everything short of doing surgery (biopsy or full fledged surgery). Now we are at that door. Surgery is pretty much immenent. Kurt and I will be asked to consent to knives going into my baby's head this week. Not so much fun. I'd rather be on a game show where my decision is what briefcase I want to open or how much that can of spam really costs... At least there, a life isn't hanging in the balance and I have the chance to win some money! Is that rude to say that last part? Don't mean for it to be, but that's pretty much where my head is now. Price is Right or brain surgery for my son. Yes, I said brain surgery. It would be brain surgery. I didn't mean to not mention it earlier, but I didn't want to say the words at all. I guess it just can't be avoided now that we are at that cross roads.
Man this sucks! I think that should be the new name of my blog. The "This Sucks" blog.
1 comment:
I'm so sorry to hear that! I really pray he gets better, i'm sure you hear it all the time but I can't image what you guys are going through. You're in our thoughts and prayers
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