Panic

I hate radiation and I really hate the steroids Lukas is on, but knowing that it will be done Monday and realizing that we'll know then if it has worked has festered a little, and growing panic.

If it didn't work as well as it needed to, there are really serious side effects that I just caused Lukas to have, and for nothing!

And you know, the most horrible thing is that, after meeting some of the other moms of NB kids, every single one of our kids are completely different. Thier symptoms, their reactions to the meds and drugs, to the treatments, not one of our kids has anything similar other than thier diagnosis of NB.

There isn't a cure for NB, there are treatments to prolong the life of the patients and hope that the cancer doesn't come back. So I'm really a little panicked about all of this. Oh, this is so much to deal with, I just don't have words to express myself properly right now.

I have hope, but I have more panic and nerousness and unsurety more than that.